From Identity to Destiny: Forming New Habits in 2022

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According to the authors of Atomic Habits and Tiny Habits, you can form new healthy habits and get rid of old ones when you consider your identity, environment, and habit design. Each new year as a family, we usually look at the young Jesus in Luke chapter 2 verse 52 and how he kept growing and increasing in four different areas: favor with God (spiritual), favor with man (social), wisdom (intellectual), and stature (physical). “And Jesus kept increasing in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and people.” Luke 2:52 (NASB).

Becoming Your Identity

I learned from these two books that we were focused more on outcomes than our processes and identity when setting goals. This year, consider focusing on your identity and what you want to BECOME and not just your OUTCOMES. For example, instead of saying, I want to lose X amount of pounds, why not become identity-focused and say, I want to become a healthy fitness practitioner in my eating, exercising, sleeping, and Bible meditation. More simply you can say to yourself, ”I am a healthy fitness practitioner.” Then when faced with the myriad of choices during the day, I could ask myself, “what would a healthy fitness practitioner choose to do right now?”

Identifying Your Identity

May I suggest that you write out the identity you are or want to become for those four areas: spiritual, social, intellectual, and physical. My spiritual identity is: I am a child of God through faith in Jesus. I want to become a child of God filled with God’s Word, Spirit, and love. That’s the spiritual identity I want to realize I am and want to become. An identity could be as simple as ”I am a healthy person” or ”I am a good friend.” After deciding our identity in the four areas, we can design tiny habits to change our behavior. Design tiny habits that are easy to do, take less than two minutes, and are satisfying.

Designing Tiny Habits

The Tiny Habits author provides a formula for designing our habits: B = M.A.P. When all three M.A.P. elements come together, we do a particular behavior. M.A.P. stands for motivation, ability, and prompt. The Fogg behavior curve shows how “prompts” to do a particular behavior only happen when our motivation and ability fall above an action line. The action line separates how easy or hard something is to do based on our ability and how much or little we want to do it based on our motivation. So if something is easy to do, we need to have just enough motivation to do it when prompted. Or if we have a lot of motivation to do something but it’s too hard to do it, we won’t usually do the behavior. That’s why it’s important to make tiny habits that are easy to do. We can remind ourselves to do a new tiny habit by being prompted by a different habit we already do. He gives the example of using the ”prompt” of an existing habit, brushing his teeth, to remind himself to immediately do two pushups. Easy to do and remember. This tiny habit eventually grew into doing more pushups and exercises. The Atomic Habits author points out that you should make the initial habit only take two minutes and give yourself some type of reward, even if it’s just a smile and pat on the back.

Breaking Bad (Habits)

One way to break a bad habit is to substitute a healthy tiny habit when prompted to do an unhealthy habit. Or to eradicate the prompt that leads up to that bad habit. The Apostle Paul talked about this in the letter to the Ephesians when he talks about how we should ”put off” the old way of doing things and ”put on” the new person and behaviors of a child of God. Paul said, “that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.” Ephesians 4:22-24 (NKJV).

Meeting Deep Needs the Wrong Way

Practically speaking, if you are on too much social media, why not remove the app from your phone and read a good book instead. You can just have a good book handy and say I’m just going to read a couple of paragraphs instead of looking at these social media posts. Also, the author of Atomic Habits points out that the habit feedback loop consists of cues (or prompts), cravings, responses, and rewards. He rightly states that our cravings result from deep underlying needs that are tied to our biology, and in my view, our deep-down God-given spiritual needs for love, security, recognition, food, water, approval, the desire and means to physical reproduce, and so on. So you probably don’t want to use a bad habit of smoking a cigarette to meet your deep need for security or confidence because it can’t and won’t to meet those needs. All of our bad habits are doing something similar to us if you think about it. If I do bad habit ,X, to meet some deep need ,Y, then it may meet need ,Y, in the short term but have long-term bad consequences, Z. These bad habits are being influenced by what Paul calls ”deceitful lusts,” our cravings. Still, we can choose to respond with a different, more godly, and healthy action or habit.

From Identity and Habit to Destiny
Another way to change our habits and behavior is by changing our environment, including those we hang out with. Today, we invite people into the ”homes” of our minds that we wouldn’t consider inviting into our physical homes. How do we do this? Through social media, movies, videos, and other virtual means. These influences in our virtual, social environment can influence us for good or evil. Reading Psalm 1 this morning, I was reminded that we are blessed when we don’t walk with the ungodly, stand in the way of sinners, and sit in the seat of the scornful but delight in God and His word and meditate on His Word day and night. Making a consistent effort to change my thought patterns and environment into healthy ones is where all good behaviors and habits start. As the old adage says, ”Sow a thought, reap an action. Sow an action, reap a behavior. Sow a behavior, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny.” What’s your identity? What tiny habits can you design and do that coincide with your identity to lead to your destiny.

The Unjust Killing of a Man

~ outofthebox2013 ~ 3 Comments
My grandfather, born 1864 in Virginia, lived to a ripe old age

A white pastor just asked to speak to me about the George Floyd death and the protests that followed. It made me want to talk to my son about it. I ended up asking him what he thought about it. He said it was Ferguson all over again. I texted him, “Yep. Sad. I’m getting numb to it.” It was also sad to see this week a black TV reporter being arrested and others encouraging looters to be shot.

There are different ways to look at this. One from a social perspective. Another from a spiritual perspective. From a social perspective it just shows how the systems in America are set up to prejudge and condemn to death a black man. It shows that white superiority exists not just in the deep South or the upper echelons of government but it also exists in the so-called liberal, church-going Midwest.

I’m not going to comment right now about the riots. But I will say that one of the mechanisms we have to come at this socially is to peacefully protest. And the words of George Washington Carver who said, “I will never let a man ruin my life by making me hate him,” ring true today. Let us not ruin our communities through rioting, setting fires, and throwing rocks. Let us not let others’ hate ruin our hearts by answering with our own hate. Socially it is true that we need to use voting and election powers for systemic change. But this type of racism and white supremacy shows up not just in the police force but it shows up in the inferior school systems for black kids, the white majority institutions that make it hard and expensive for black kids to enter and to complete their majors, and sadly it shows up in one of its most hurtful forms in the church. This subtle and not-so-subtle hatred and superiority complex show up in the attitudes, actions, and words of some people who call themselves Christians.

Jesus experienced those who thought they were spiritually superior to him in the form of the Pharisees and the Sadducees and the religious leaders of that day. So much so that they saw fit and thought they were justified to kill Jesus on the cross. Jesus never deserved to be killed. And we know that this unjust killing originated from the upper levels of the evil spiritual and wicked forces of Satan. And the virus of sin still ravages the heart of man and woman to make him or her hate, kill, steal, and destroy, other men, women, and children. Jesus himself said that Satan has come to steal, kill and destroy. But Jesus came that we might have life and might have life abundantly, to the full. So before we condemn others who show outright hatred and murder, remember it was Jesus who said that if we hate someone in our heart we have committed murder in the heart. Jesus said to love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. It is when we can do this that we have overcome hatred and can move forward toward justice.

Fantastic News in the Age of the Coronavirus

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The Hope of Easter

In the midst of the coronavirus pandemic, Easter reminds us that there is Fantastic News in the midst of our fears, struggles, sickness, and pain. We can face our fears of dying from this deadly virus with FAITH that Jesus, who is risen from the dead, will save us from eternal death. This Fantastic News was especially reassuring for me as I lay in pain weeks ago in the intensive care unit (ICU) after surgery while breathing through a ventilator, not sure if I would remain alive.

Fear of Suffering and Death

Many of us sit at home, scared of what will happen if we were to catch the virus. Some have caught it. Thousands have died. Many have recovered. Our lives have been turned upside down. Jobs lost or furloughed. Our investments have suffered. No more sports, restaurant gatherings, movies, and in-person school. Is God trying to get YOUR attention?

He sure did get mine when I was told that my chances of dying were increased if I wouldn’t have a particular surgery. My heart literally was stopped as a machine breathed for me and pumped my oxygen for me so my body could be repaired. But that was only half the battle. I woke up in excruciating pain with all sorts of tubes, IV’s and electrical cables on me. I had to rely on a ventilator to breathe for me. I couldn’t move on my own. Isn’t that what we fear, not having our health or losing our life during this time of the coronavirus?

Fantastic News of Jesus

Well, I have Fantastic News. News and facts from the Bible that kept me hopeful, calmed my fears, and continues to heal me. This Fantastic News comes from the revelation God gives through the Bible. God loved us so much that He gave Jesus, His Son, to live, suffer, and die on this earth to give us life with God after we die plus life in the present filled with His love and not fear.

God’s Life, Not Death

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” The “whoever” means YOU! If you believe in Him, that is, if you rely and trust in Him, and what He’s done for you, you will not perish. You will not perish, which means to be forever apart from God because of the consequences of the sometimes fatal virus or any other cause of death. This is Fantastic News in the age of the coronavirus for those who believe that Jesus died for us and rose again to bring us to God, forever.

You’re Invited

When I was on the operating table and ICU, I had to rely on the doctor to fix me and machines to keep me alive. Likewise, without Jesus to repair our heart and give us life, we can not live eternally without Him. When I was in the ICU, and no one was physically present, Jesus, in His Spirit, was there with me. Won’t you invite Him by asking Him to repair your spiritual sinful heart, give you eternal life and be with you too, both now and for eternity?

What I Would Tell My Younger Self

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Today on the radio, the talk show host asked his listeners, “What would you tell your younger self?”  For me, it depends on how young are we talking.  In junior high and high school, I was rebellious from the things I was taught as a child about God and how I was to live my life.  In fact, I wasn’t sure God even existed.  When I entered college as an undergraduate I was still real concerned with being cool but there was a deeper part of me that knew that there was something missing in my life.  I was more concerned about what other people thought of me.  Looking back, I should have been less concerned about what other people thought of me and being cool, so to speak.

I did start paying more attention to the spiritual part of my life.  It was during that time that I started reading the Bible in a modern translation and seeking whatever was missing.  During this time, it’s hard to explain, but some of the stories became more and more alive and real to me.  At the time, I started attending a Bible study, actually a couple of them.  The Bible studies participants’ were different culturally but they both focused on what the Bible said about God, His Son Jesus, and me.  One of the Bible studies was composed of mostly African American students.  The other was mainly Caucasian.  I enjoyed both.  Pastor Leo Barbee of Victory Bible Church led the Bible study called Harambee, which is Swahili for “let’s pull together”.  He always had insightful things to share and it was great to have him as someone I could talk to, get advice from and share with. Plus the friends I made there became life long friends and helped support me while attending a predominantly white university.  Even when not many attended Harambee, he always made himself available.  Mike Jordahl of the Navigators, campus Christian ministry, was the other mentor who shared with me in that other circle of friends and brothers and sisters in Christ.

Since then I’ve learned a lot through blood, sweat, tears and God’s grace.  And now, I’m a Christian minister ordained ten years ago at Mount Calvary Missionary Baptist Church just outside of Atlanta, Georgia.  I’ve decided that I while I’m here in Kansas, I want to make a place for African American (and other) students to learn and study how God’s Word gives insight, comfort and strength for life’s hardships, struggles, and disappointments like we did in Harambee.  Just like Pastor Barbee was there for me, I want to be there for others.  So I can share what I would tell my younger self.

Disconnecting to Connect with God in 2018 #HappyNewYear

~ outofthebox2013 ~ 1 Comment

What’s the longest you can go without reading or looking at a post on Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, or LinkedIn? Or what about Messenger, WeChat, or WhatsApp?

This past year in 2017 I tracked some of my smartphone usage with an app called Moments. I was shocked to see how much time I used or picked up my smartphone. There’s nothing wrong with using these apps or a smartphone for non-business uses.

However, it does beg the question why we use them so much or at what opportunity cost? That is, with our almost constant focus on our phones, what are we missing in terms of rest, time for reflection and re-creation? And more than that, what thoughts are we being influenced to think, sometimes to the point of addiction? If you’ve read any of the research on the use of smartphone’s for social media, people tend to get hooked on the doses of dopamine for each like or retweet they get.

If you were to take a long break from social media and our smartphones, what would you do with the extra time or how would you fill the void? My plan is to spend more time reading and meditating on Scripture, reflecting and writing in my journal, creating, developing ideas, prayer, thinking, spending time enjoying nature, working on a personal dream project, and spending quality time with loved ones by God’s grace. What will you do in 2018? Or better yet, what will you be?

“So teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom.” Moses’ prayer in Psalms 90:12.

Compassionate Forts and My WWII and Korean War Veteran Dad

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My Dad, John Williams, a WWII and Korean War veteran, decided to settle in the late 50’s in Junction City (JC), Kansas, the nearby army town next to Fort Riley, Kansas. He met my Mom, Yuson Williams, in Korea, married her and brought their children to live in the U.S. During my college years, I learned from Chico Herbison, someone else with Black and Asian heritage from JC, that Fort Riley was a “compassionate fort” that the U.S. government set up to send families of interracial couples. Black soldiers who had met their wives in Asia and Europe were sent to compassionate forts, like Fort Riley, to ease their transition back into a society that did not accept interracial marriages, and in some cases outlawed them. Thinking back, some of my friends were black and Korean, black and Japanese, black and French, and black and German, just to name a few.

Chico was older than me but I met him while he worked at KU working on his PhD research on the very topic of compassionate forts. If I remember correctly he said that there was about seven compassionate forts in our country. Prior to that revelation from Chico, I always thought it was normal to grow up in a small Kansas town where it was normal for black soldiers to have met their wives in Europe or Asia and to settle there. I went to school with many of their children, played basketball with them, went to church with them, and blended in with them wanting to be accepted like everyone else. (Those of you from Junction City, can you name the ones you remember or know?)

Let’s remember the men and women who back then and even to some extent today returned with foreign wives, had interracial children, and had to face racial prejudice against interracial marriages in the 50’s, 60’s, and beyond because they were not as readily accepted elsewhere. I am grateful for having the opportunity to have grown up and gone to school with the children of many of these veterans in Junction City. I am thankful for all veterans who have served our country and especially those who did it without complaining even though they had to fight for acceptance for them and there families when then the returned.

My Dad’s Experience of Interracial Strife and Healing as a WWII and Korean War Veteran

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Remembering my Dad, John Williams, who served in both WWII and the Korean War. I recently had a birthday and it only happened because my Dad loved my Mom, Yuson Kim, enough to go back to Korea after the war was over to marry her and to bring their children to America. He knew he would be facing racial prejudice bringing home a Korean wife and an interracial marriage to America in the 50’s. In fact he did, maybe even from his own family. The army sent him to Fort Riley, Kansas, which I later discovered was a compassionate fort, a place to send military interracial couples to ease the transition into American society. I never really noticed that I was that different because there were a lot of interracial families in nearby Junction City, or JC, where we were raised. We didn’t have much financially and went through some tough times because my loving, sweet Mom had some mental health issues. There was a small, all white church two blocks away that reached out to us. They brought us groceries and gifts near Thanksgiving and Christmas. My Dad, a stay at home Baptist, and my Mom, from a Buddhist family, were reluctant to let us go to church. But the white church members, very conservative in their political and moral beliefs, persevered in reaching out to us because they wanted to let us know God loved us. They never tried to force us to believe what they believed, politically or spiritually. They just loved us. They introduced us to God and to Jesus when we were young. God and Jesus was not something they just spoke about. We saw Him in their lives. They were not famous or rich people. They just loved God and they loved us. They spoke of Jesus teaching about His kingdom that was invisible that transcends political systems here on earth. They spoke about how Jesus came not to restore a political order but a spiritual relationship and fellowship between God and man. The words of Jesus to be spiritually reborn became a reality in my life. I now have two birthdays: a physical one and a spiritual one. When I see the hatred and prejudice around me, I remember the kind white people that loved me and my family when no one else did and I realize that not all white people can be defined to be a certain way just as all black people cannot be defined by a few bad apples. But more importantly, I do not worship political leaders because all men and women have feet of clay. If the Bible is true, one day we will all bow down to the one true Lord Jesus Christ, whether we acknowledged Him in this life or not. His disciples were devastated to see Him die at the hands of the most powerful empire on earth at the time, the Roman Empire. But three days later, He rose from the grave to prove He was the Son of God and that He is Lord over all. Rulers since have persecuted those who follow Him and tried to keep believers from loving Him but just like Jesus, they rise again. Jesus died as a substitutionary sacrifice to pay the penalty of our sins, to heal our broken relationship with God, and give us eternal life. So I have hope that no matter what happens in our country and nation and world, that God is still in control and He will receive me when my life on this earth is over. I don’t need to mourn or rejoice in political leaders. I rejoice and hold fast my faith in Jesus Christ, the Lord of lords and the King of kings.

Arranging Your Smartphone to Arrange Your Life

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Arrange your iPhone app icons to remind and train yourself to focus on what’s significant and important and not just the urgent things.  Start with the top level apps and work your way down daily. (Apps above are just an example and should be personalized according to your own priorities and significant aims for your life.)

 
Have you ever noticed when glancing at some one else’s arrangement of App icons on their phone, that they usually reflect the way the way they live and interact with others?  Until recently, I had my mail app on the second “page” of my apps on my iPhone because I didn’t want to see how many unread messages I had accumulated on all my several email accounts.  But recently, while preparing for my family’s New Year tradition, I realized that I can arrange the icons on my phone to help arrange my life so that I won’t miss out on the significant things in my life.

Every year, since I can remember, my wife, kids, and I have started out the New Year dealing with the past, reflecting on the present, and setting our goals for the New Year.  We spend time having our family Communion time, but before that we take time to clear our consciences with each other and with God.  After a brief prayer, we two by two go to another part of the house to talk about and ask forgiveness for offenses over the past year between each other.  Then we come back together and write out a personal list on our own in private of sins that we have committed against God or struggled with the past year.  We come together and read about God’s promises to forgive our sins (I John 1:9) and then we burn the list, cementing in our minds and spirits that we are forgiven and they are gone! (Hebrews 8:12. Ps 103:2).  

Next we read about Jesus when he was almost a teenager in Luke chapter 2 keying in on verse 52. This verse says Jesus increased in Wisdom, Stature, Favor with God, and Favor with Man.  In other words, He grew and developed Intellectually, Physically, Spiritually, and Socially.  We then write goals for the New Year for each of those four areas.  And this year, I decided that I would arrange the app icons on my iPhone’s first screen with them grouped and arranged in this order so that I can meet my goals in these four core areas:  

  • First level: Apps that deal with my Spiritual Development including Worship, Meditation, Reflection, and Prayer
  • Second level: Apps that deal with my Stewardship including Physical Health, Planning/Time, Finances, and Creativity
  • Third level: Apps that deal with my Intellectual development including Learning, Reading, Writing and Math
  • Fourth level:  Apps that deal with my Social development and interaction including Communication, Arts, Mind, and Tools

The First Level apps deal with things that are Significant: things that matter the most and for the longest (even after I pass away into Eternity).

The Second and Third Level apps deal with the things that are Important: things that really matter.

The Fourth Level apps deal with things that are Urgent:  things that matter now.

The problem we often face is we are often spending our time on our iPhone, or smartphone, on the Fourth Level urgent things and don’t make time for the First, Second, and Third level, or the Significant and Important things.   So now, when I begin the day, I don’t jump to the fourth level apps, like email, news, or social media, I start at the First Level apps, for those things that are Significant and empower my life: worship, reflection, meditation, and prayer.

Why not rearrange and group the icons on your iPhone, or smartphone, and arrange your life for what matters most for the longest time and insure you aren’t letting the urgent things make you miss out on what’s Significant and Important?

“No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” Philippians 3:13-14 | NLT

Christmas is Here: Have You Accepted the Gift of Eternal Life?

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Christmas tree by lake

Sounds pretty bold and unbelievable, doesn’t it?  That Someone would offer you the chance to live forever.  Could anyone do that and why?  First of all, why?   By this time, you’ve probably seen the latest installment of the Star Wars movie, the Force Awakens.  The most emotional and shocking moment to me in that movie was when a father tried to reach out to his son because he loved him so much but the son was rebelling and rejected his father’s efforts to reconnect with him and accept him back as his son (I’ve left out the details in case you haven’t seen the movie yet).  If no body hasn’t told you yet, that’s what the Christmas story is about.

I, and many others believe, that God created everything that exists including you and me.  In fact, in the Book of Genesis, it says He created us in His image and in a close, intimate, Father/child relationship.  But since those early days, the first man and woman rebelled against God, and history shows God doing everything He can to restore that perfect relationship with him.  I don’t have time to write the whole story to you but I encourage you to read it yourself.  I would suggest reading the Bible in the New Living Translation.  For those who like the old English, the King James Version is a good one.

When men didn’t listen to God, he raised up a special group of people that became a nation based on the faith of their leader.  Yet God’s intention was through this nation He would raise up Someone who would deliver and provide all with the opportunity to be adopted back into His family.  We could be intimate with God again.  We could one day live with Him forever, even after our physical bodies die.

It’s sounds pretty improbable, doesn’t it?  Even for someone like me, who grew up with a non-church going father and a Buddhist leaning mother, it sounds pretty improbable.  Even for someone like me, who as a child learned more about this Story and accepted it but then rejected it, not sure if God even existed.  Even for someone like me who was trained as an engineer and scientist.

But I came to a point in my life when I knew that there was something that was missing, something that was making me not really feeling peace inside.  That’s when I started to seek to find and know the Truth.  An unlike Santa Clause, this Person decided to speak to my spirit when I decided I was going to pursue the Truth, even if it meant facing up to the own personal darkness of my internal life.

You see, a lot of people look at a person that’s in the news who claims to know this Person, and immediately put them in a box that’s political or religious.  They immediately judge that human person and say, “that’s not for me” without ever getting a chance to know or talk to the Person, God Himself, for themselves.  The Darkness we see in the news every day and the hurt, pain, and death it causes in people’s lives keeps us from seeing the Light.

The fact is that there is no one that is perfect.  If we admit that to God that’s the first step.  But the second step, is believing that He has a solution for our broken relationship with Him.  That solution was for God Himself to become a man yet still be God, live a perfect life on earth even though it would end up having Him suffer and die.  But He, God’s Son, died in our place.  The Bible says He was like a sacrificial lamb that was slaughtered and sacrificed for us, to pay for the penalty of our sins.

History documents the birth of God’s Son, Jesus, in the Bible.  The Christmas story is when Jesus was born to a virgin, Mary, so He didn’t carry the genetic sin nature that was passed down from men.  His Father, was God.  But the Christmas story by itself is not enough.  The story of Easter was the factual account of Jesus being put to death and then rising from the dead after three days, to prove that He had provided forgiveness of all our moral failures and shortcomings, and to prove that He could raise us up from the dead so that we could live together forever with Him.

So this Christmas, and the days after, there may be a yearning within you.   A yearning for something more.  Or should I say, Someone more.

“If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9.

 

Shopping for the Cure for Pain at Christmas

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christmas lights

Christmas songs blaring loudly in crowded shopping malls attempt to make us feel happy and jolly but deep down we all struggle with the problem of pain.  However, Christmas also does bring a hidden message that there is a solution to the problem of pain.

A relative of mine was recently remarking to me about a co-worker that had bought a brand new car.  The car looked stylish and sporty on the outside but on the inside various sensors and warning lights were going off.  The cost of the repairs were in the hundreds and sometimes in the thousands of dollars.  I know the feeling, I’ve had a used car that seemed to have the “check engine” light go off on every other ride I took it on.   I wanted to reset the light but not really deal with the cost of repairing the root cause of the warning.  During this holiday season, many of us will be attempting to “turn off” the “check engine” lights deep down in our hearts and spirits and dull the “pain” we are experiencing by getting all the gifts we can buy or receive, gorge ourselves with food and desserts, and sometimes even worse: turn to excess alcohol, prescription drugs, pornography, or illicit activities.  We want to experience the highs we are “supposed to” this “jolly” time of the year but come crashing down emotionally and sometimes even physically afterwards.  The “check your life” light was temporarily reset, but the emptiness causing it didn’t go away.

If you read real close to the original Christmas story, you see a couple in a social, relational, financial and emotional dilemma. Joseph was facing some tough questions in his relationship with his fiancé, Mary. “Did she cheat on me?”, a young, engaged man asks.  “How are we going to afford this trip to deal with our taxes?”.  He arrives at the destination and finds himself, his bride to be, and their new born Baby temporarily homeless.  “What am I doing in this dump?  I thought at this point in my life I would be able to take better care of my family, I’d have a better position, and be able to afford the finest vacations”.  He suffers from self-doubt, the pain of regret, and the discomfort of not having enough money to buy better accommodations for his family.  But somehow, there was a bigger plan for his life.  The Baby that was sleeping in a dirty, wooden box was going to literally change the world.  The pain he was experiencing had a bigger purpose as long as he didn’t give up.  He just needed to keep pushing forward.  His life had meaning when he realized it was to be lived for those closest to him, to those most vulnerable to the pain and suffering the world could inflict on him.

I wonder if my Dad, John Williams, felt the same way.  His youngest child, me, had to sleep in a cardboard box as a baby.  Feeding six kids and having a wife that barely spoke English was tough for a recently discharged soldier looking for work and finding some as a garbage collector.  But he kept pushing on, never giving up, even when the pain of “breaking his back” just to put food on the table threatened his emotional and physical health.  I don’t know how he did it.  But I remember how he would bow his head as though he was praying.  Sometimes he would say to me that sometimes he felt like a motherless child.  Coincidentally, my Dad, John, was born to his Mom, my grandmother named Mary, on December 25th.

You see, the Christmas story, is the story of the God the made us and created us, did something to deal with our suffering and had a meaningful purpose for our lives.  He showed those who would notice, that He suffers, He feels our pain and cares enough to give us something of greatest value.  The Baby, his Son, grew up suffering as we do, being rejected by the people He loved and belonged to, and then was tortured and put to death with us on His mind and heart.  He bore our pain and our failures so we could rise again…forever.  If you seek Him this Christmas in desperation and honesty, you will find Him.  Better yet, He will find you.

“For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders. And he will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”